To Help Save A Friend
by That Old Black Magic
Summary: When a car is driving straight at your partner, what can you do but sacrifice yourself and save him? And afterwards, what will you do if you're paralysed? BB angst, drama and romance. 10th chapter here at long last.
1. Sacrifice

"Bones, stay in the car!" Booth yelled, parking the SUV in a hurry and kicking open his door. The car was left abandoned at the roadside with Brennan still trying to recover from the mad rally race that was her partner's driving.

Brennan watched the FBI agent pull out his gun and start to chase the suspect. She couldn't sit in the car and miss all the action. It was definitely not her style.

She opened her door hurriedly and slammed it shut before following her partner. Booth was in an abandoned warehouse and was silently pursuing his subject when someone laid a hand on his shoulder and slipped something from his back at the belt.

He spun round and pointed the gun at her head. Brennan's gun was also up, pointing at her partner between the eyes. It was a complete face-off. "What the heck was that?" Booth whispered, visibly gulping, knowing that the anthropologist was rather trigger-happy.

"Instinct. When someone points a gun at your head, you naturally raise yours to shoot back," she hissed back at him as she lowered his gun.

"Why are you out of the car? And why do you have my gun?" he growled, checking out the area for their suspect, keeping his gun raised high but away from his partner.

"I'm not going to sit in the car like some damsel in distress while you're out shooting criminals," Booth shot her an annoyed look before she continued. " And you're my partner. I'm here to cover your back."

Booth's gaze softened somewhat before something darting to his right caught his eye. A bullet was shot in their direction and missed Brennan by mere inches. She shook slightly as her and Booth chased after him. Another few shots were fired as they followed the perpetrator.

The pair hit the ground and Booth was back on his feet after moments. The guy had disappeared. There were many parked cars around, as houses and shops were across the road from the old storage house.

Brennan rose shakily to her feet with Booth's gun still in hand before walking towards him. Booth had moved out onto the road, looking for the guy. What he didn't spot was that the criminal had jumped into an open 4x4 and was now driving furiously towards Booth.

Brennan saw though. She was on the side of the road and saw the Jeep hurtling towards her partner. He would be killed if struck by such a force. Brennan didn't even think about it. She dropped the gun and flung herself forward.

The car was almost at Booth when he at last turned around and saw it. He saw the rage in the man's eyes and knew there was no time for him to escape. This was his end. But then something struck his ribcage and forced him out of the way.

Booth heard a sickening thud and the screech of a fast car pulling away. He fell into the side of a parked car and a sharp pain above his eyebrow made him reach up and touch it. It was painful and there was blood.

When he looked across the road, what he saw made his heart stop. There was Brennan, lying on her side. She was half curled into a ball on her side and looked exceptionally vulnerable.

He whipped out his mobile and dialled 911 as he ran to her. He explained the situation and quickly hung up after giving their location.

Booth was at her side and rolled her onto her back. Her hip looked like it was very out of place. The car's sheer force must have threw her out of the way, preventing her legs from being crushed. Booth pushed her legs out straight and ran a hand across her head.

"Booth," she whispered, reaching up and clutching his shirt.

"It's gonna be ok Bones," he said quietly, running his hand through her hair in a soothing manner. The panic and worry was practically bursting out of him, even though he was trying to keep a calm exterior for her sake.

A cold feeling gripped his heart when she murmured, "Booth, why can't I feel my legs?"

* * *

Booth paced nervously in the waiting room. Bones had been rushed into the theatre and been there for about an hour. The cuts and bruises he was sporting had been tended to. He was worried sick and this was all his fault. If only he hadn't been so damn stupid for standing out on the road. 

If only he hadn't been so stupid as to bring her along. Squints are meant for labs, not fieldwork. But then, it wouldn't be the same if Brennan wasn't at his side, fighting crime together.

A pretty red-headed nurse told him that his partner was out of theatre and in a room, if he wanted to see her. He quickly expressed that he wanted to see her and followed the small woman to Brennan's room.

Angela would be here soon. Booth had called her from the waiting room while he paced nervously. Apparently there was a big hold-up in traffic right now.

Brennan looked deathly pale against her pillows. The nurse showed him in and with a sympathetic smile, closed the door behind him.

He went over to her side and pulled up a chair to sit close to her. He threw himself down in the seat and after a few moments, reached out and took his partner's hand.

A doctor came in and explained everything to Booth. After the doctor had left, he sat stunned. A shattered hip, one or two broken ribs and what seemed to be temporary paralysis of the legs.

This was all his fault. This would break his Bones for sure. A gently tug on his hand made him look up. "You're back," he smiled.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah." She tried to shift her position but gasped in pain.

"Booth, what's wrong with me?" she asked, gripping his hand tightly, her eyes begging for an honest answer.

Booth relayed what he knew to her. "I can't be paralysed. How will I do fieldwork?" she whimpered, her eyes growing fearful at the thought of being restricted all the time.

"Hey," Booth said, reaching for her other hand, "It's gonna be ok. I'll be here every step of the way."

* * *

A/N: Whaddya think of the first chapter? It was an idea that's been rolling around my head for about a week now. It was designed to be a one-shot but I think there is plenty more material here. So after the ending of Making Bones Cry, this shall be my new story. If you feel like it, a review would make my day. 


	2. Angela's Kind Words

A/N: Apologies for the long wait on the update. My schoolwork was completely mental with 4 end of unit tests and 3 exams all in the one week. But now it's summer and my muse is skipping through the fields, complete with hayfever meds. Now I have been working on some stuff for another fandom. So you're all sitting going, "Yeah, schoolwork, my ass!"

But it's true. I _was_ tired and overworked. But writing is an absolute pleasure and it helps relax me. I can't stay away for long. I was drawing blanks for this story anyway. I wanted to do the story justice and wasn't going to write just any old crap. So here ya go, deep and angsty as it is. Thanks for all your reviews guys, they inspire me!

I dedicate this chapter to Becca Hilpz who really touched me with her review last time. So Becca, this one's for you. And after that absurdly long author's note, enjoy the show!

* * *

Brennan smiled weakly at her partner. Before she had a chance to say anything in reply to Booth, there was a swift knock and a quiet click of a door opening. Angela peeked her head round the door before entering and slowly closing the door behind her. 

"Bren!" she yelped happily, lurching forward towards Brennan's bedside before quickly drawing herself up. "Sorry," she whispered, realising hugs were out of the question and loudness wasn't such a great idea either.

"That's ok Angela," Brennan smiled weakly at her best friend. She looked at her partner who was continuing to hold her hand. "Booth, can I have a minute alone with Angela?"

"Sure Bones," he said, his hand squeezing hers. He bent down and dropped a kiss on her forehead protectively before smiling at Angela as he left the room.

"That was all a bit protective," Angela said, with her usual intuition intact. She dropped into the seat Booth had just vacated.

"It was, wasn't it?" Brennan said, trying her best to put on a brave face for Angela. Except she didn't feel brave. She felt worried and scared. Worried in case she wouldn't be able to do fieldwork with Booth anymore. Scared that she'd never walk again. Totally freaked out at the thought of losing her independence.

Angela sighed and looked away. "Sweetie, how are you?"

"I'm ok," Brennan answered, going for the look of the chivalrous soldier.

Angela's s look of doubt and worry startled Brennan into admitting the truth. "I'm not ok Ange. I don't think I'm going to be ok either."

"Sweetie," Angela whispered, reaching out and taking her friend's hand. "You're allowed to feel this way."

"I am?" Brennan said tearfully, clutching her hand tight.

"Of course. Your hip has been shattered and you've broke a few ribs, or so the nurse told me when she directed me here," Angela murmured, sympathetic to her friend's predicament.

"But did she tell you the worst part?" Brennan said, looking up at her friend, eyes shining with unshed tears.

"The worst part? I thought that was as bad as it could get, apart from you getting killed that is," Angela said, searching Brennan's face. "Bren, honey, what else is there?"

"I'm paralysed," Brennan whimpered, breaking down onto her pillow. True realisation washed over her like a cold tide. Denial would have been bliss compared to this.

Angela got up from her seat and sat on the bed beside her best friend. She stroked her hair softly and whispered, "You want me to go outside for a few moments?"

Brennan nodded as she continued to cry. Angela gave her hair one last stroke before getting up and going to stand outside. She understood. Brennan rarely showed her grief and when she did, she liked to do her crying in private, away from prying eyes.

Angela went down to the cafeteria for a coffee. She seriously needed one after a day like today. Apparently Booth felt the very same as she did,. He was sitting at an empty table in the corner, ashen-faced, cradling a Styrofoam cup in his hands.

She decided that the coffee could wait. She sat down in front of Booth slowly, so as not to startle him. "Hey," she smiled gently.

"You left Bones already? Should I go back up?" he said, instantly on his feet.

Angela was up and placed a steadying hand on his arm. "She really needs some time alone right now. Go up in a few minutes," she said as she guided him back to his seat.

"How bout you Booth? You alright?" Angela asked, her concern evident to the FBI agent.

"No," he said, not even attempting to deny the fact. Angela nodded and motioned for him to go on. " What happened to Bones. I just feel so…guilty."

"You shouldn't Booth. None of this is your fault. Not that anyone's explained what happened to me yet," she said quietly, without judgement. It wasn't anyone's job to fill her in. And they were all worried. But she would like the full picture before making her decision on it all.

"She didn't tell you?" Booth looked at the artist in surprise.

"She told me about her injuries. She didn't say how she got them," Angela said, her mouth a thin line.

"We were out looking for a suspect. He shot at us and I lost him," Booth said, suddenly changing his train of thought. " I told her to stay in the car but does she ever listen!"

"Brennan's headstrong Booth. You should know that," Angela smiled lightly, thinking of her friend's strong character.

"Yeah, so I went out onto the road to look for him. The guy got into a SUV, he was coming straight at me. I thought that was me done for. I didn't see him until the last minute," Booth looked away from Angela, realising how close his brush with death had been that day. Angela leaned across and took his hands in a friendly manner. He continued, feeling that Angela deserved to know.

"But Bones saw him. She didn't shout or tell me to get out the way. No, she just jumped straight in front of the thing…" Angela gasped, not even have considered this possibility for Brennan's injuries, "…and pushed me out the way. She took the blow for me."

Angela looked Booth in the eye. "This wasn't your fault."

"I nearly killed her today Angela. She's paralysed and we don't know if she's gonna walk again. It's a fate she doesn't deserve," Booth looked straight back at Angela, his gaze unwavering, though clouded with guilt.

Booth tried to look away but Angela gripped his hands hard, making his brown eyes connect with her dark ones. "This was Brennan's choice. She chose to save you. You didn't ask her to jump out, she made that decision for herself. You would have done the exact same thing if the roles were reversed. I know you would have."

Booth mulled over Angela's words for a moment or two. He placed Brennan in front of a fast-moving vehicle, with no way to save her other than to push her out the way and be hit yourself. He would have done it, without a second thought.

"I know Angela. I can't help the way I feel though," Booth said, agonizing over every possible way that things could have been made different.

"She's brave and you're brave. That's something you have in common," she gave him a hearty smile before standing and saying, "Need to go tell everyone how she is. Phone me if anything changes, I'll be back soon."

Booth nodded his head, his eyes glazing over with thought again. She laid a hand on his shoulder before saying, "You can't beat yourself up forever over her choice."

And with that, she was gone, leaving him to his thoughts.


	3. But You Lived

Brennan's tears began to ebb. She wiped her eyes on the pillow and slowly eased herself onto her back, hissing with the tremendous pain that shot through her body. Her thoughts turned back to Booth. He'd promised to be there with her, helping her through her current crisis. The question was, in Brennan's mind, was he prepared to handle everything that came with her and her injuries? She was going to need a lot of time and care if she was going to heal, if it was even possible. That was a lot to take on.

Not that she regretted her actions. Brennan, her body broken and her spirit downtrodden, felt a sense of pride for her actions. She'd did what she thought was right. She wouldn't have left her partner to die in front of that car. She couldn't have lived with herself if she had. She believed that it was better to be paralysed and have her partner than to have full use of her body and a guilty conscience.

She liked her freedom, her independence and she wasn't sure she could deal with people constantly fussing over her. What she was facing was no easy task and didn't want to be a burden on anyone. It wasn't anyone's place to take on the job of her.

Before Brennan could dwell further on her thoughts and feelings, Booth had re-entered her room, gazing at his partner. A fresh bolt of guilt hit his heart when he saw her, lying on her bed, looking weak and vulnerable. "Isn't visiting hours over?" she asked, taking in his worn and tired look. Guilt washed over her. She was already taking her toll on him.

"Yeah, but boyfriends are allowed to stay with serious injury patients," he said, dropping into the seat before meeting her eyes. Her face clearly showed that her mind was processing his words.

"But you're not my boyfriend," she said, a slightly confused look on her face. Her mind wasn't functioning at it's normal rate tonight, that much she knew.

"But the nurses weren't to know that, were they? One flash of my charm smile and I was in," he said, trying to take a light-hearted tone after such an awful day.

"Typical," she shook her head, disapproving and grateful at the same time. Another thought suddenly came to her. "Where's Angela went? She said she would just go outside for a minute, but she hasn't come back."

"She went to tell the rest of the Squints how you're faring. And she came to see me."

"About what?" Brennan's eyes narrowed in thought, trying to think ahead and work out what they had been talking about.

"About you. She wanted to know the story of your injuries," he said, hating the very words as he said them.

Brennan looked away from him. Every two seconds it was about the injuries. She was touched that people were concerned, but felt aggravated that everyone wanted to know the stories. She was still a person, not just a victim.

"I'm glad you told her and not me," Brennan answered, knowing Angela was only worried about her and wanted to know the events of the day. She didn't fancy breaking down at the thought of Booth dying. Sobbing once today was bad enough.

"She said you were brave. I agree with her," Booth said, hands reaching out for hers.

"Thanks," she returned, giving him a small smile. She gave a wide yawn and very suddenly, she felt like she hadn't slept in years.

"You'd better get some rest, or the nurses will have my head. You're supposed to be heading back for reconstructive surgery in the morning," Booth replied, yawning too. He often found yawning to be infectious.

"Surgery?" she asked, doing her best not to yelp as she tried to fix her pillows.

"Here, let me do that," Booth murmured, standing and reaching behind her head. He quickly fluffed them up before gently lowering her head back. Broken ribs were not an easy thing to suffer. He'd been there, after all.

"Don't dodge the question Booth," she moaned, leaning back into the pillows. God those ribs!

"Yeah, you did shatter your hip so they need to rebuild it," Booth said, finding some pillows for the other bed in the room. He wasn't planning on sleeping on that hard seat all night.

"So, if they need to fix it, why was I in surgery today then?" she asked, watching Booth make up the bed.

"That was to sort out your ribs. And make sure everything else was ok with you. A lot of things can get damaged round there," he indicated her side, "as you should know."

"But if my hip's shattered, how can it be fixed?" she said, struggling to understand at the moment.

"Ah, that's how you define 'shattered'. By 'shattered' they don't mean broken into a million little bits. They mean, four or five larger pieces here," Booth said, pulling back the covers on his bed.

"When did you get so wise?" she asked, very curious. Normally she was the one with all the answers. Talk about complete role reversal today.

"After Angela left, I went and spoke to your doctor. Wanted to know what was happening. They're gonna put your hip back together. With bits of metal, covering the broken edges. Hopefully your bones will kind of 'weld' back together again, for lack of a better word," Booth said, trying his best to remember what the doctor had said and put it in the simplest terms possible.

"Special Agent by day, Doctor by night. You're an impressive man Booth," she quipped, trying to make a jest. God knows, she really could do with some laughter right now.

"And you're an impressive lady Bones. A real heroine." She smiled at his words while he continued, "Though heroes don't generally need reasons to save people other than they were in danger, I want to know why you did it."

Bones practically growled. So much had happened today. She really wasn't in the mood for explaining her motives. Oblivious to her obvious distaste, Booth continued to question her. "Why put yourself in danger Bones? Why, for me?"

"I don't want to talk about it Booth." He went to interrupt when she held up a hand, stopping him. "I've got enough on my mind without the third degree from you. I did what I did and it's in the past. Please, don't ask me why."

Booth went quiet, realising his mistake. Don't push her. Be supportive, ask for reasons later, when she's willing to volunteer the information. He began pushing the bed over to her.

It moved quite easily and was at her side in no time. "So we can be closer," he supplied, taking in her puzzled look.

He kicked off his shoes before climbing into the bed. He was beginning to relax when she asked him, "Booth, how long am I going to be like this?"

"I can't give you times Bones. I'm not a doctor. But what I was told was, if all goes well, then you'll be in here for a month tops, and then you'll be out in a wheelchair," came the sad reply of the agent.

"Thanks Booth," she said, equally as sad. They didn't need to address her paraplegic state or what came after the wheelchair. If anything came after the wheelchair. That there might not be a stage after the wheelchair. That could be her life from now on. They both knew that might be as good as things got for Temperance Brennan.

"For what?" he asked her.

"For being honest. I don't need false hope. I need facts and time to get used to them," her voice taking a slightly analytical tone at this grim revelation.

"I'm sorry things turned out this way Bones," he said, trying to hold back tears. "If I could go back and change things, I would." She was so strong and he was so proud. He doubted he could have handled such news so well. Brave, brave Temperance.

"Don't wish for such things Booth. Don't wish for things to be altered," she answered, tears warming her cheeks. Guilt wasn't something Booth needed resting on his shoulders. He had so much already, being a sniper and all.

"But Bones, you got hurt," he whispered, trying to cover the tears that were already falling. She suddenly grasped his hand in hers, making him look at her, the tears staining her cheeks too.

"Yes Booth, I did get hurt," she said, her hand squeezing his tight and her eyes begging him to listen to her words. He watched her face like nothing else mattered in the world and his heart broke at her next words, realising that she truly knew the sacrifice she had made. "But you lived."

* * *

A/N: Wasn't that angsty as hell? Trying my best to stay true to the characters and to the timeline of recovery. I apologise if anything medical here is wrong. I'm not a doctor and have never broke a bone in my life, so I'm a bit clueless. Will do my best to make this as real as possible, time-wise and reaction-wise. I'll get the next chapter out into the world as soon as I can. Thanks for reading and reviewing, it makes me feel worthy as a writer. 


	4. Small Comforts

"But you lived." Those words wrenched Booth's heart in so many ways. So that's why she had told him not to wish for events to happen in another way. Because she didn't want them to have turned out different. Because he had lived.

"You'd better get to bed missus," Booth said, trying to take some of the weariness out of their conversation. "We want you in the best possible condition for surgery tomorrow."

"Yes sir," she saluted him, mocking a serious look. She needed anything, absolutely anything, to steer her away from the pensive conversation they had just ended moments ago. Talking about her situation made it a harsh reality and Brennan severely doubted that either of them were ready for reality yet.

Maybe it was time to look on the bright side of life. Be positive, Brennan thought. She settled down under her covers when a loud grumble broke the quiet of the room. Booth rolled over to look at her, trying to fight back a smile.

"I'm so hungry," she said, as her stomach continued to growl. "I haven't eaten since we had lunch at half one."

Booth mulled over her words. That was true. They had eaten lunch before sitting a while and chatting in Wong Foo's. That was before they had been called to the crime-scene of the suspect at four o'clock .

Booth checked his watch. It was now half nine. Wow, time had really flew by. But then, he had spent a long time waiting for her to come out of theatre. He'd spent even longer in the cafeteria after Angela had left to go update the Squint squad on their boss' health. He had sat there, contemplating his thoughts and feelings, for at least an hour. Brennan hadn't realised that was how long she'd spent crying.

"You can't eat anything I'm afraid Bones. Your stomach needs to be empty for surgery tomorrow," Booth sighed, feeling sorry for her.

"Damn it," she moaned, her head flopping onto her pillow. "And I feel like a cheeseburger too."

"You don't look like one," Booth laughed at her choice of words, causing Brennan to smile.

"I suppose I'd better just get to sleep then," Brennan smiled shyly. Booth grinned before rolling out of bed and coming to her side. He smiled affectionately down at her when she looked up at him. He bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. He's being protective again, Brennan thought. He crept back into his own bed, listening to her quiet, even breathing as she slipped into a deep sleep.

Sleep came easy to Brennan. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for her partner.

* * *

Eight o'clock came and Booth lay on his back, his eyes wide awake. Poor Brennan. Things were going to be so hard on her. If this worked. He couldn't see why it wouldn't, doctors repaired all kinds of hip injuries all the time but there was still this nagging doubt at the back of his mind.

* * *

Brennan was about to be wheeled into surgery when Booth rounded the corner and ran down the corridor towards her. "God Bones, I thought I'd missed you when I returned to the room and you were gone!" 

"It's ok Booth," she said quietly. "I need to go get my hip surgery now. I was going to send someone down to the cafeteria to tell you, but I didn't want to bother you while you were eating breakfast."

"Don't be ridiculous! I want to be here. I came back to the room and you weren't there. Thankfully, I'm good at reading signs and followed you here," he uttered, bending down to her side.

"Sir," the nurse pushing the trolley said. "We have to go and get your girlfriend anaesthetised."

Booth looked up in confusion and then remembered the previous night's lie. "Ok," he nodded, kissing her forehead once again. "You promise to take good care of her?"

"I swear on my children's lives I will do whatever I can to help her," the nurse smiled, before pushing Brennan down the corridor and through the swing doors. He gave her a small wave and she returned with a thumbs up sign, to show Booth she was ok.

Booth returned to their room and sat on her bed for about ten minutes when the same nurse from before returned to see Booth. "Oh good, you're here," she said, shutting the door. "I just came to say it's probably better for you if you go home and try and get some rest."

"But I need to be here for her when she gets out of surgery," Booth retorted, growing annoyed at the nurse for no apparent reason.

"The anaesthetist is in with her right now. I'm just about to go back but the fact is, she's going to be in there for a while and she's still going to be under when she comes out," the nurse said patiently.

"She came out of it real quick yesterday," Booth answered snappishly.

The nurse understood Booth's frustration and replied kindly, "She didn't need a lot of anaesthetic yesterday. As you know, she lost consciousness in the ambulance. That was probably shock. So, to be truthful, the shock is what mostly kept her unconscious when she was rushed in. So when she was out of surgery, the drug had pretty much worn off already and her body was waking up by itself."

"Oh," was all Booth could manage.

"So go. Today's surgery will be a different story and I'll get someone to phone you as soon as she's out and on her way to being lucid," the nurse smiled before turning and leaving.

Booth nodded and stood. It was time for him to go and see the Squint squad.

* * *

He entered the lab for all of ten seconds before Brennan's usual team bombarded him with questions. Angela calmed them down somewhat and ushered them all into her office, to prevent a disruption to the rest of the lab. 

"How is Doctor Brennan?" Zack asked hurriedly, looking at Booth with wide eyes. For once, Booth didn't feel anger or annoyance at the young scientist. He simply felt a shared concern.

"She's went for her hip surgery right now. The hospital promised they would phone as soon as she was out of surgery and awake," he said, clapping a reassuring hand on Zack's shoulder.

After the many questions that were asked, Booth said he needed rest and turned to leave. Angela gave him a knowing look. "Why don't you go sleep in Brennan's office? The couch is really comfy and we can come with you when you get the call to go back," Angela suggested.

Booth disappeared into Brennan's office, closing the blinds and shutting the door. He flopped down onto her sofa and buried his head into the pillows. The cushions smelled like her perfume, the anthropologist having slept here on numerous occasions.

Booth put his mobile ring on 'loud' before snuggling further into the softness of her couch. He revelled in the small comfort he could take from the simple smell of her perfume.


	5. Foreshadowing

Booth watched it happen from the sidelines. There was nothing he could do. Bones was in the middle of surgery, and the doctors were beginning to panic. She was crashing. He rushed into the room, yelling for someone to help her. A nurse pulled him back, restrained him while the doctors pulled out the paddles as she flat-lined.

"Please, save her!" he shouted, struggling to break free.

"Charging!" a male surgeon said. "Three, two, one, clear!" He shocked Brennan's chest, but the line on the monitor remained unchanged. "Again!" This went on for two minutes, before they reached the highest voltage possible. "One last time!"

Booth stood stunned, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he screamed, "Bones, don't leave me!"

Nothing. The female nurse who had assured Booth earlier that everything would be alright pushed through, beginning CPR on Brennan. After a few good pushes, the male surgeon grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away. "Sarah, it's time to stop," he said softly. "Time of death, ten twenty-three am."

"No!" Booth sobbed, at last reaching her side.

"No," he moaned, his voice strangled with anguish. The nurse, Sarah, came and gently laid a hand on his shoulder as the rest of the staff cleared the room, leaving Booth alone with his grief. "I tried," she said sadly.

Booth looked up at her, the tears making tracks down his face. "I know. Thank you," he said, before turning away again. Sarah gave his shoulder a squeeze before quietly exiting the room.

Booth ran his hands through Brennan's soft hair. "You left me Bones. You said you wouldn't change the past. You believed everything was going to be alright. Don't you want it to change now? I want it to change so badly Bones. I don't want to be here alone."

His fingers traced her jaw line and her soft, cold lips. Praying with all his heart to a higher being, he whispered, "God, this is the last thing I'll ever ask of you. She might not believe, but please take her in. She's not a bad person. In fact, she's the best person I know."

His fingers touched her eyelashes as his tears dripped down onto her face. "Please, she needs someone to look after her. I can't do it anymore. You don't need to watch over me, look after Bones instead."

The full pain of Brennan's passing struck his heart like a blow. "Please Bones, don't leave me. I don't want to have to be the one to bury you. To carry your casket and say a few words that were never enough to describe you. Please Bones, don't do this to me!"

* * *

Booth shot straight up, panic rising in him. He frantically felt his surroundings, his eyes darting wildly from side to side. After a few seconds, he found a soft cushion and quickly clutched against his chest. It was just a dream, his head said. He forced himself to take long, deep breaths before swinging his legs over the side of the couch. 

He continued to breathe deeply as the panic began to subside. He buried his face in the pillow and inhaled Brennan's scent. "She's still here," Booth said, as he flung the pillow back into it's usual place. He raised a hand and ran it through his hair reassuringly.

His fingers moved down to his cheeks and was surprised to find they were wet. He brushed away the few stray tears that escaped in the grip of his nightmare. Booth stood and decided it was time to head back to the hospital.

He checked his phone to make sure there were no missed calls. His thoughts then turned to another matter. The dream. The nightmare. The haunting vision. Oh please, don't let it be one of those, he silently begged.

Booth worried that it could be one of those dreams he got a lot. The ones where he dreamed something happening, dismissed it when he woke, for it to then happen in the real world in the next couple of days.

* * *

He sprinted up to the surgical corridor, many thoughts running through his head. He had to make sure she was alright. Booth knew he wasn't psychic, not by any means. His sub-conscious was just really good at working things out. 

As he neared the swing-doors, he hurried his stride. He had to know she was ok. To see concrete evidence that she was alive and well. That his nightmare had been caused by his over-active imagination. A thought suddenly struck Booth. Since when did he need concrete evidence for anything? He went with his instinct. Bones was obviously beginning to rub off on him.

He reached the room he knew her to be in and peered in through the window on the door. Horror rose in his throat and shone in his eyes. It was happening again. It was becoming true.

Booth watched it happen from the sidelines. There was nothing he could do. Bones was in the middle of surgery, and the doctors were beginning to panic. She was crashing. He rushed into the room, yelling for someone to help her. A nurse pulled him back, restrained him while the doctors pulled out the paddles as she flat-lined.

"Please, save her!" he shouted, struggling to break free.

"Charging!" a male surgeon said. "Three, two, one, clear!" He shocked Brennan's chest, but the line on the monitor remained unchanged. "Again!" This went on for two minutes, before they reached the highest voltage possible. "One last time!"

Booth stood stunned, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he screamed, "Bones, don't leave me!"

Terrible seconds ticked by. And then her heart line arced, hitting it's peak and dropping, before another took it's place.

* * *

A/N: That had you all on the edge of your seats! Bet that had you all going for a minute too. As if I would kill her. How could you think such a thing? I know that was probably terribly cliched, but I enjoyed writing it, even though I did cry at the top part :(

The dream thing isn't a fluke by the way. That happens to me quite a lot, as in I dream something and then it actually happens in real life. It doesn't happen too often and as I said, this doesn't mean I'm psychic. As for having a horrible dream like the one Booth had, I've done that too. I dreamt my mum died. I actually woke up in a panic, breathing ragged, tears running down my cheeks and I instantly rushed to check she was still breathing. Fortunately, she was!

So I hope you enjoyed people and keep checking for the next update! And if you feel like having your opinion, then click the review button!


	6. The Waiting Game

A/N: My apologies on the two week wait. I've been out socialising alot and the like, so I haven't really had time to sit down and work on this. I was also out getting the Harry Potter book at midnight. Needless to say, I finished it on the 21st :D So here ya go folks, enjoy the show!

* * *

Booth visibly sagged with relief. She was alive. Now that the drama seemed to be over, he was gently guided from the room and was made to sit outside. He was told that they had some finishing up to do on Brennan and that maybe he should call someone. He gave the nurse a solemn nod and stepped away. Once out of sight of the surgery room, he raced down corridors and stairs to get to the front entrance of the hospital. 

Once he was standing outside and the fresh breeze whipped around his face, he began to pull out his phone to call Angela when a wave of nausea bubbled in his stomach. Quick as a flash, he was behind some boxes in an alley, losing the contents of his stomach.

He staggered back out onto the main road as the shock and the fear rallied their forces, ready to strike again. He leaned his back against a wall and tried to take a steadying breath. She was nearly gone. His Bones was nearly lost to the world of flesh. Thank God she had lived.

He pulled his hand up to eye level and laid it flat. It shook uncontrollably. No wonder, Booth thought, I probably have a shock of white hair too. He reached into his pocket and flipped open his phone to call Angela.

The phone quivered as he found her contact number and dialled.

"Hello," came a chipper voice from the other end.

"Angela," Booth breathed, pausing, "You'd better get down here."

* * *

A car pulled up at lightning speed outside the hospital. Angela, Hodgins and Zack all practically collapsed out of the car in their haste to reach Booth. They all began babbling at once, concerned and anxious questions mingling together in the cold air. 

Booth held up a hand. All conversation ceased. "Only got one pair of ears. One question at a time, folks."

"Is Dr Brennan alright?" Zack pushed in front of the other two and looked Booth straight in the eye. Booth looked at the young squint carefully. Normally Zack shied away when he entered a room or fidgeted nervously when he was near. Now there was nothing but cold, hard defiance in his look. No trace of fear here.

"She's alive, if that's what you mean," Booth answered finally. Zack's shoulders dropped and his brave front seemed to melt away. His gaze flickered away from Booth's and when it returned, Booth saw dark eyes filled with worry and concern. His eyes gave it all away. They showed Zack to be the scared little boy he was, worried for his boss who he idolised.

Booth couldn't find it in his heart to be nasty to the young scientist. He was worried sick too. Fear made everyone a child again. And in being a child, all you wish for is a little comfort. He laid a gentle hand on the younger man's shoulder and said to the other two, "Come on. Let's go inside," before guiding Zack into the brightly lit building.

* * *

They all occupied seats, waiting for news or as Booth had come to think of it, a glimmer of hope. Hodgins suddenly sprang from his seat and began to pace back and forth. This continued for a good ten minutes and the constant motion was starting to grate on Booth's nerves. All this waiting was starting to make him fearful and angry. And very nauseous. 

Booth finally snapped as Hodgins passed him again. "Can you just stop pacing for one bloody moment?" he hissed, his eyes narrowing as he looked up at the entomologist. "Up, down, up, down and friggin' back again. Just sit down."

Hodgins' own temper began to rise. "Hey man, what's your fucking problem?"

Booth stood up to face the smaller man when Angela stepped between the seething pair, her back facing Booth. "Guys, this is really not the place," she snapped. "We're all worried about Bren, that doesn't mean we all try to beat the crap out of each other."

Booth thought that was going a bit far. He wasn't going to beat the crap out of Hodgins. One good slap round the back of the head would have satisfied his temper. Angela spoke directly to Hodgins now. "Jack, let it go," she pleaded.

A moment's silence passed, Zack looking at them all with wide eyes, before Hodgins turned on his heel and went back to his seat. Angela then spun round to face Booth. "Calm down. I'm stressed too. Taking it out on each other is not going to help." And with those parting words, Angela returned to her seat, leaving Booth standing on his own.

He stepped away from the middle of the corridor and collapsed into a seat. His head was a jumbled mess. His resolve before, with Zack, was that they should try and comfort each other. But with tensions running so high, he found it was very easy to get irritated, even by the smallest, most insignificant thing.

A nurse raced down the corridor. "Agent Booth," she said tentatively, eyeing the men and woman, who were hanging on her every word, "You can come and see her now. She won't be awake until tomorrow but…"

Her next words never reached their ears as the Squint squad and Booth broke into a run down the corridor, as though they were about to storm a castle.

Once they reached her room, a silence descended. All quiet and reverie they opened the door, like they were in church. Brennan lay deathly pale on her pillows, her waves falling all over the pillow. Angela gave a small whimper of sorrow at the sight of her best friend before Hodgins placed a consoling arm around her shoulders. Booth shut the door quietly behind them and then slowly turned to face her.

It pained his heart to know she was suffering. She had to be suffering surely. He saw Zack take Booth's typical place beside Brennan and lay a hand over her porcelain white one. Booth had to bite back a possessive growl that rose in his throat.

He told himself to remember that Zack was worried about her too. Cared about her well-being as much as he did. Maybe not as much as he did, but still, there was alarm and unease written on the young man's face.

Angela and Hodgins had, by now, clustered around Brennan's bed too. Booth made his way slowly to her side. Angela and Hodgins parted to let him through. He pulled up an extra chair to rest at her bedside. Before he sat, he stopped next to Brennan's head. He gently played with her dark hair before placing a soft kiss in it. He took his seat as they began the waiting game.


	7. The Dark Side of Angela

They sat there, for a day, before sleep crept over them all of them, rendering them all silent apart from the gentle snores of Zack and Booth. Brennan lay still on her bed, no movement coming from her quarter.

A crash into the room made everyone of it's occupants, bar Brennan, jump in shock. Angela have a stifled yelp of fright before all eyes turned towards the source of the noise and the disturbance of their sad reverie.

Cam stood in the doorway, door flung open wide. The bounce of the handle off the wall must have startled them all from sleep, Zack concluded.

"What's going on?" Booth eventually managed, quietly assessing Brennan's white face. He didn't notice any change. He gave a sad sigh before turning to face Cam, his eyes wide.

"I came to find out why I had a pile of bones and no work force. Why aren't you at the lab people?" Cam asked, giving them all an unsavoury look.

"We decided to take a little field trip to the hospital. Problem, Cam?" Angela growled, the anger bubbling inside of her. The guys eyed her slack-jawed. Since when was Angela like this? Even Hodgins looked shocked.

"I do actually," Cam snapped back before Angela came back with the curt reply, "Let's take this outside then, shall we?"

Hodgins looked up in excitement, wondering if Angela was actually about to break Cam's jaw. His face fell when he realised that she meant take it outside into the corridor. Booth rose too, wanting to have his say, having a few choice words for the woman himself, when he felt Angela's hand on his chest, halting him.

Angela looked him straight in the eyes, her dark orbs narrowed in anger, though her fury was not directed at him. Her eyes were blazing, showing that she was up for a fight and said everything that needed to be said to Booth. _She's mine._

Booth reluctantly sat back down and watched Angela manoeuvre the other woman out of the room, looking as if she would love nothing more than to give Cam a good kick up the backside. Booth grinned maliciously. He looked over at Hodgins and saw that the other man was enjoying the show just as much as he was. The two of them shared a silent nod as the door clicked shut, announcing that Cam's doom was immanent, courtesy of the pretty artist.

The pair scrambled out of their seats and pressed their ears against the door. The sound-proofing wasn't strong in the hospital, giving the men an easy account of the ongoing conversation , just as clear as if they had been standing outside themselves.

"Ok Cam, what exactly is your problem?" Angela said, her anger barely veiled as she spoke to the other woman.

"I thought I made that quite clear. I have a job that needs done, and no-one to do it."

"Well that's just too bad. Bren nearly died yesterday in the middle of her operation. In fact she was dead, for two minutes. Or maybe you didn't quite grasp that from the note I left you, you imbecile?" Booth had to hold back a snigger.

"No, I got that. I just don't see why you all have to be here." Cam's tones were becoming heated.

"We all have to be here because Brennan is our friend and she's going through a rough time. So is Booth and they need our support. Or maybe you don't understand being there for people?" Angela snapped, while Booth felt heartened that Angela and everyone else was there to not only give Brennan support, but himself.

"So you need to be here? Fine. Just don't expect your jobs to be waiting for you when you come back." Booth actually had to hold Hodgins back from running out to shout abuse at the woman.

"How dare you, you evil cow! That's going to look good, that is. Firing the hailed crime-solving team who went to see their friend, who's part of the group and in hospital. Never mind that she's paralysed and almost died in the middle of theatre that day. Oh yeah, the bosses at the Jeffersonian are going to be adorning you with medals, surely."

Booth choked trying to hold in his laughter. Angela really could rip you in half if she wanted to. It was really weird to hear her like this. Kind, caring, understanding Angela had a dark side too. Booth smiled. In his opinion, you can't be that nice and compassionate without having something to balance you out, back to being a normal human being. It would seem Angela was a bit of a hot-head. And a sarcastic little bugger.

Booth decided that maybe they should open the door, to prevent things getting too heated. "I really don't think this requires all of you here," Cam sneered, as Hodgins and Booth peered round the edge of the door.

"It does. We love Bren and we're not leaving here until she wakes up," Angela said with a tone of finality.

"And what if she doesn't wake up?" Cam asked nastily, as the door was pulled open wide by the two men. "Are you all going to sleep here forever?"

A resounding slap echoed through the corridor. Angela had one heck of a slap by the looks of it, since Cam had a rather large red handprint on her cheek.

"Get out," Angela said, trembling from head to toe in anger. "How dare you suggest such a thing! Have you no feeling at all? The poor woman nearly died and can't walk. Where is your pity?! You haven't even asked how she is! So piss off, before I make that slap a punch."

Cam threw them all a dirty look, before exiting the hospital with as much dignity as she could muster. Before words could be exchanged between the three out in the corridor, Zack yelled out to them, "I think Dr Brennan's waking up!"

They all sprang into the room like fire had been lit beneath them. Brennan was beginning to stir. Her eyelashes were gently fluttering and she moved her shoulders in some sort of stretching motion. Her eyes flickered open and she took them all, surveying their sombre expressions quickly turning to joy.

She managed a weak, "Hey. Nice to see you all."

"Bones," Booth smiled, coming to her side and kissing her cheek.

Everyone else pulled up a seat, and reached out to touch some part of her. Zack gave her a gentle squeeze and Booth sat down on her other side, taking her other hand. "Why are we all holding hands? I'm not dying or anything."

Brennan alone laughed. Everyone else looked ashen-faced at her words. "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"We lost you for two whole minutes. They managed to start your heart again, thankfully. That was yesterday. How are you feeling, by the way?" Booth asked, his concern evident as he continued to hold her hand, as did Zack. They didn't care if she was a little uncomfortable by it, they needed something physical of her.

"Yesterday? Why am I here in the first place? And why does my hip hurt like hell?" she said, looking curiously at them all.

Angela and Booth shared a look that said, _Lack of oxygen to the brain. We need to bring her up to speed._

Everyone carefully explained the events of the past two days to her. The memories were in there, they only needed reawakening. Afterwards, a sad air seem to hover around Brennan. It was terrible to explain to her why she was suffering. What she was suffering. It hurt them all so much to dash her expectations of herself, but they couldn't have her living with false hope.

The rest of the team left and Booth decided that he should stay with her, just a while longer. The nurse stepped in to talk to them. What she said made Brennan's heart sink.

* * *

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed reading that in the same vicious manner that I enjoyed writing it. Cam normally doesn't bother me, but it's no secret that Brennan isn't her favourite person. Bet ya all love Angela now! And if you grinned maliciously like I did, raise your hand! We're not bad people, we just want to indulge our dark side, because Cam's nasty and being horrible to Bren. We want revenge! 


	8. Getting Away

A/N: It's been a long time since I posted and for that, I apologise. I'm not long back at school so homework and all that has been taking over my life. I have, however, discovered the Bones season 3 promos! Is everyone excited as I am?!

* * *

"Miss Brennan, how are you feeling today? You gave us quite a scare yesterday," the nurse, Sarah, began. 

"I'm alright. I just want to know when I can leave and go back to work," Brennan said.

"Back to work?" Sarah asked incredulously. "You won't be going back to work for at least three weeks. You have to stay here."

"You are kidding," Brennan said, looking horrified. "You're positive I can't leave here any sooner?"

"Not unless you have someone you can stay with, to supervise you."

"No I don't," Brennan said sadly. Booth's heart gave a sudden pang. Did she honestly think that he wouldn't take her in? Or any of the squints? "I suppose I could always ask my brother…or Angela."

"Will she be able to leave if she stays with me?" Booth asked, causing Brennan to turn sharply towards him. Booth wanted her to stay with him? She eyed him curiously for a second. Ah, she thought. The pity has set in.

"It's fine, I'll stay here," she said, giving the nurse a grim smile. Booth eyes flashed, turning on her, a questioning look on his face.

"To answer your question Mr Booth, yes she could leave if she had someone to make sure she didn't move her hip too much. But I'll leave you two to decide on things." Sarah quietly slipped out of the room, leaving them to it.

"Booth…" Brennan began but Booth cut her off.

"What's up with you? You said you wanted to leave and now you don't. Is it because I offered?" Booth asked, the hurt evident in his eyes.

"Booth, it's not like that," she paused. "I just don't want to be a problem for anyone."

Booth's expression softened. "Bones you're not a problem. I want to help you, since it's my fault you're in this mess anyway."

Brennan groaned. "Booth, I already told you it isn't your fault. It's that guy's ok? So please, don't think that."

"I'm going to tell Sarah that you're coming with me? I'll be back in two secs," Booth quietly replied, ignoring her last words and disappearing from the room, leaving Brennan with her thoughts.

* * *

Oh God, she thought. Living with Booth. I can't do it. It's not possible. He can't do it. I'm impossible. 

The door opened again and Booth re-entered the room. She looked up questioningly at him. "They agreed to let you leave with me by the end of the week."

Brennan sighed and hung her head. "Booth…"she started. "You don't have to do this. I can stay in the hospital, I'll be fine."

"Bones…I'll already said it's fine, that you can stay with me. Why are you so against this?" Booth asked, as he searched for his coat.

"Because Booth, I'm not your burden to bear," Brennan said, dropping her eyes from his gaze.

Booth instantly dropped his newly-found coat and came to her side. "Don't think that Bones. You're not a burden, alright?"

"Alright," she nodded. Then spying him going back to his coat, she asked, "You going somewhere?"

"Home for a shower. And to get the place fixed up a bit. Make up the spare bedroom, you know," came Booth's swift reply.

"But it isn't that Parker's room?" she said curiously, worrying that she was kicking the small boy out of his room.

"No, Parker's got his own room. There's a spare room in the apartment."

"Is your house an apartment or a mansion?" Brennan lightly asked, trying to put a little humour into the conversation, despite how much dread and confusion she was feeling inside.

Booth smiled and came back to her side again. He lightly took her hand, "I don't know Bones. But it's gonna be your recovery room for a while at least."

And before she could reply, he had strode from the room.

* * *

The end of the week arrived quickly, a little quicker than Brennan would have anticipated. Before she knew it, she was being whisked out the hospital and towards Booth's flat. 

"Welcome Bones to Booth's Care Centre," he said, smiling at her.

She gave a half-hearted smile back. "Thanks Booth, but please don't call it that."

Booth raised an eyebrow. "Any particular reason you wanna share with me Bones?"

"Because…" she started. "I don't like the thought of everyone having to look after me. I like being independent Booth. Being fawned over isn't something I'm used to."

Booth looked at her with sadness. It was a sad thought to think that no one had ever made a fuss over Brennan. If it was up to him, he would treat her like a princess. If she would allow it.

"Did no one make a big deal of you, even when you were younger?" he asked, resisting the oncoming compassion and pity that rose in him.

"Yeah back then. My mum and dad obviously. Russ always did too, even after they left. But when he left, that was it. Every time I was sick or unhappy, I just had to get on with it," Brennan mumbled, suddenly spilling her soul to him. "Until I met you and Angela. The two of you never fail in making sure I'm alright."

Booth nodded and gave her arm a light pat. "I'm afraid me and Angela have a life-long commitment to that. We will get you understanding all those pop culture references if it kills us."

Booth realised his mistake when her face fell. "Oh Bones, I didn't mean to mention dying. I didn't think."

Brennan took a deep breath and said, "It's alright Booth. You were just being yourself. You don't need to tiptoe around me. It's just that every time someone mentions dying, I think of myself in the operation and that car racing towards you."

Booth had no idea what to say to that and simply offered to show Brennan her room, an idea she gladly took up.


	9. Ups and Downs

A/N: My apologies on waiting so long for this chapter. I kind of lost my muse but I found her again! This is dedicated to all the gang at tv dot com, because it's thanks to their fanfiction board that we have anything at all! Cheers guys!

* * *

The tour of her room was quick although thoughtful. Booth had moved everything so she would have wide enough space for her wheelchair. Brennan couldn't believe how much trouble Booth had went to, to make the room look nice, all over the head of her. She quietly said as much as her heart would allow her without being overwhelmed. "Thanks Booth, you really didn't need to go to so much trouble." 

"It wasn't a problem Bones. I'm here to help," he smiled, wheeling her back into the lounge. "Ok, so dinner?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind," she replied, as he moved into the kitchen and rifled through a drawer, before pulling out a couple of menus and coming back through to hand them to her.

"Thai, Chinese, Indian, whatever you want Bones," Booth said, flopping onto his sofa, beside her wheelchair.

"Booth, you're feeding me, not an entire army! Chinese would be good though ," she said as Booth picked up the phone to begin dialling.

"Don't you need to see the menu?" she asked, puzzled. He shook his head as he mouthed to her, 'What do you want?'

"Kung Po Beef," she replied, indicating a number on the menu, as he placed the receiver to his ear.

"Kung Fu? Bones, that isn't food, that's martial arts," he said, listening to it ring through to the other side.

Brennan smirked at his stupidity. "No, Kung Po Beef. With fried rice," she smiled, thrusting the menu at him as someone picked up on the other end of the line.

"Hello, yeah. No, I'll pick it up. Booth. Kung Po Beef with fried rice. Chicken Curry and chips. How long? Ten minutes. Great," Booth hung up, Brennan smiling.

"What?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing." She thought it was sweet of Booth to go and let her choose dinner. He had went to so much trouble already. And he really did manage to mess things up sometimes! Somehow, living here didn't seem so hopeless as it had before, now that she was actually here to revel in the cosy environment.

"Well we have ten minutes to kill. Let's watch some something on the box," he said, jumping up from the couch and searching for the remote.

"A box Booth? You do know there are such things as books or even for you, television…" she muttered, completely misunderstanding him.

Booth smiled gently as he discovered the remote on the windowsill. "No Bones…the box _is_ the TV."

"Oh…" she said, as he clicked the 'On' button.

"Aha! The X-files is on. From the very beginning too," he said, grinning happily and turning the sound up.

"One, how do you know it's the very beginning? Two, what on Earth is an X-file?" Brennan asked, eyeing him curiously, as theme music began playing with a spaceship flying in the air.

"An X-file is something to do with stuff that's supernatural or can't be explained," Booth said, as Brennan looked horrified at the thought of something not being explained. He continued, trying to hide his smile, " And I know it's the very beginning because I watched the series from beginning to end the first time. I have them all on DVD too because I love watching this show."

"Watch this Bones, while I got get plates out and go for dinner alright?" he asked her. When she nodded, he threw the remote at her and jumped up off the couch. As he clattered around with the plates, he noticed that she hadn't looked in his direction once since he left her sitting in her wheelchair beside the couch.

"I'm going to get the food now Bones alright?" he called through to her as he moved towards the door and picked up his coat.

"Yeah," was as much an answer as Booth received. He smiled and left.

Back in ten minutes and Booth doubted she had even breathed since he'd left. "You alright over there Bones?"

"Yeah," she replied, turning her head slightly to the side. "This Scully woman is very sensible. I like her. She believes in practicality."

"How did I know you would like her?" he grinned, taking the food into the kitchen and beginning to dish it onto the plates.

"Don't know Booth. I'm not psychic," she said, returning to the TV as the adverts finished. Booth smiled at her wry humour.

He plonked back down onto the couch and handed her a plate filled to the brim with her food. She didn't even look up. She simply started to shovel food into her mouth as she watched the program. When the credits began to roll, she said, "That was actually entertaining."

"You want to watch another one?" he asked, putting his plate to the side and beginning to riffle through a cabinet. "Here's season one here."

"Yeah, it's interesting. There's definite chemistry between Mulder and Scully," she said, scooping some rice onto her fork.

"I'm surprised you picked up on that."

"Don't be. I'm not a complete imbecile." And here ended all conversation.

* * *

"Booth," she said, after watching her way through a good few episodes of the X-Files. 

"What's up Bones?" he asked, turning to look at her.

A small flush crept up her cheeks before she cleared her throat and began awkwardly, "Um…how exactly am I going to get showered like this? I can't get washed by myself. The nurses helped me in hospital but now…"

Booth saw it took the whole of Brennan's pride to say that and he applauded her in his head. Instead he answered with ease, "Way ahead of you. I've already asked Angela."

"Oh no, I don't want to be a burden on Angela," Brennan began but was silenced by his look.

"I would do it if I could. I don't think we could survive that though, so Angela offered," Booth said, looking carefully at her.

"She offered?" Brennan said suspiciously, picking up on the subtle choice of words.

"Yeah, she offered and I accepted for you. I swear, that woman could be a mind reader. Anyway, she'll be here tomorrow. So tonight I'm afraid it's just gonna have to be pyjamas."

"Yeah alright," Brennan said, feeling more and more uncertain about this by the second.

* * *

"Ok, Angela packed everything she could possibly fit into a suitcase for you. I just need to find a pair of pyjamas," Booth said, hoisting it onto her bed. "Right, let's see what we can find. I'll help you unpack tomorrow." 

He began rummaging through the t-shirts and jeans in there, before coming out with a lacy pair of underwear. Brennan's cheeks began to burn brightly. Booth looked highly uncomfortable before jesting, " It seems Angela thinks you'll be hooking in your spare time. Where on Earth would she buy those things?"

"Angela didn't buy them. I did," she said, wishing she could just evaporate into thin air at her declaration.

"Oh. Well anyway," Booth gulped, beginning to search again as he tossed the underwear to the side, "I have, at long last, found a pair of pyjamas!" After a short pause at gazing at Brennan, gauging something, he then said, "Right, pull your top layer off and you can slip this over your head, while I close my eyes."

Brennan did so quickly and with efficiency. "Now here's the problem," she said, trying not to sound too melancholy or give away how embarrassed she felt at this moment.

Booth circled her, his eyes narrowed, clearly calculating something. Brennan felt quite unnerved to be under such scrutiny and could now clearly see why suspects cracked easily under the pressure of Booth's gaze.

"What if you pushed on the wheelchair using your hands and lifted yourself up slightly, putting all your weight on your shoulders and arms? I could pull the bottoms straight off, with my eyes shut of course. Then for the second bit, I could lift you up slightly and you could pull the trousers on. Sounds like a plan?" he asked, as Brennan simply wanted to die from the shame of it all.

The pair worked in complete harmony, very few words uttered. And Booth was very professional, making life easier for Bones. The embarrassment would lessen considerably tomorrow when it was Angela helping her out.

"Here's your toothbrush. I'm gonna go get changed then we can move you to your bed alright?" he said, slipping from the room.

He returned in shorts and a t-shirt, several minutes later. "Alright Bones, let's see how this works," he said, pushing her closer to the bed. He looked her over again, his mind thinking through plans and discarding them. It seems he found one because his eyes lit up.

"I think a fireman lift would probably work best in this case," he said, moving towards her and slipping an arm around her back.

"You're going to throw me over your shoulder?" she said, her earlier feelings of easiness all but having disappeared in the last half hour.

Booth gave a dry chuckle. "I said fireman, not caveman Bones," he said, sliding his other hand beneath her two legs and lifting her straight from the seat and onto the bed. "And we flip back the covers," he said, as he pulled back the duvet, "And in we go."

He lifted her again and put her onto the newly opened space before pulling the covers back over her. "Booth, you can't seriously expect me to go to sleep, can you? It's ten o'clock," she said, looking at him with amusement and annoyance.

"And what time do you usually go to bed?" he asked, his hands settling on his hips, looking very womanly at this point.

Brennan suppressed a smile. "Twelve. I'm usually at the Jeffersonian, so sometimes it's later than that," she said, trying to sound nonchalant, because even she knew that she didn't sleep regularly.

"Bones, don't even try to kid me. I know you work all night in that lab and don't sleep at all. You need regular sleep to heal. Now sleep," he said, being brisk and nurse-like.

"Alright Booth. Goodnight," she called as he moved towards the door.

"Night Bones," came the gentle return as he closed the door.

* * *

Two o'clock roved around and Booth woke with a start. He couldn't place what it was but something didn't feel right. He padded out into the hall, and listened intently. Something seemed to be shifting quite a lot in a room down the hall. Bones. 

He moved down to her door and gently turned the doorknob. He peered round the doorframe and his dark eyes scanned the room. Some moonlight filtered into the room and he saw Brennan. Even though she apparently couldn't move her bottom half, her top half was still active, caught in the grip of a nightmare. Her head was buried deep in her pillow and her fingers caught the bed sheets in a vice-like grip.

Booth came in and sat on the edge of the bed slowly, so as not to startle her. He whispered softly into her ear, calling her name and gave her shoulder a gentle shake. She woke with a jump and looked around, taking in her surroundings. Then she noticed him. "Booth," she whispered. "You're still here."

In an instant, he knew what she had been dreaming. "I sure am Bones," he said softly, reaching out to stroke her hair. As he gently threaded his fingers through her waves, she leaned into his touch, needing to know he was real. Her nightmare, where she was losing him, seemed all too real.

"I'm still with you," he quietly said into the air.

"I know, it was just so real though. You were gone and I had to face the world alone," she said back, trying to hold back her tears.

"I'll be here as long as I can. I promise," he countered, shifting up beside her and cradling her head against his chest. She tried to stifle a sob.

"Bones, it's alright. Let it out," he murmured into her hair. And she did. And Booth knew he was in for a hell of a ride. They both were. Their lives had so many ups and downs right now. They laughed about Chinese food and the X-Files. Then it uncomfortable, him having to help her. And now things were sad, thoughts rolling through his mind of how much they both had to lose, where it concerned each other. He hugged her tighter to his chest and prayed for these hard times to be over soon.


	10. Pain

A/N: I think this has to be the world's longest wait for an update. My apologies, I had exams back throughout December and I lost my muse. If you're still here, reading and caring about this story, then you mean more to me than you will ever know. If you've abandoned it, then I totally understand. Thanks go to Angel6 for her help with the chapter. Enjoy guys, as my muse gave you double what I normally churn out.

* * *

Eventually her tears subsided and she slipped back into her world of dreams. Booth gently slid her head back onto her pillow and tucked the covers around her, before quietly creeping from the room. 

He didn't even make it to his own room before he burst into tears. The guilt flooding him was awful. The guilt he felt for taking fifty people's lives was bad enough. But the guilt for hurting someone he cared about was a thousand times worse. He'd ruined his strong Bones, he'd ruined her spirit by letting her get injured.

He made it into his bed as his tears drowned the pillow, and the blankets engulfed him in warmth. But it didn't help, all he felt was the cold. He fell into a fitful sleep and was soon caught up in a dream that would scar his soul.

* * *

The same haunted faces stared out at Booth. Men, women and children. Souls he had taken by his own hand. Fifty kills. Fifty faces to haunt his conscience. And a new one to add to his toll. He began to push his way through the crowd, as hands fleetingly touched him. 

"Save us," the mass called.

"I can't," Booth whimpers, "I want to, but I can't."

"But it's your fault we're here," they whisper and Booth hands clench. He knows as much, without those small innocent voices whispering in his ear that he was to blame.

He saw her and she turns to face him, her sad blue eyes making him fight back a sob. He's killed her too. He took in her lank hair and gaunt face. His beautiful Bones was no more. He has to ask, "Bones, you didn't die from the accident, did you?"

"No, but I died shortly afterwards. I died a broken woman because I couldn't enjoy my freedom. I didn't have any freedom because you had to stand out on the middle of that road and I had to care enough to save you…" she trailed off, her blue eyes holding none of the sparkle he was used to.

He reached a tentative hand out to her and stroked her pale cheek. "I'm sorry Bones."

"That's not going to bring me back though is it?" she said sadly, placing her hand on his. He shook with silent tears as his head fell onto her shoulder. Her hand came to rest on his hair as she whispered slowly into his ear, "But some things can't be changed. I not only died a broken woman, but I died of a broken heart."

Booth jumped back like he'd been hit by lightning. "But you don't believe in broken hearts."

"But you do," she said honestly. "I couldn't handle being restricted but the fact you never noticed me killed me inside. You broke my heart because you never acted on your feelings. I couldn't escape how I felt about you Booth, and I died because I couldn't have you."

"No Bones, this isn't you. You never had feelings for me," he said, desperately shaking his head, not wanting what she said to be true.

"No?" she sneered. "If you had been a little braver, then we could have found out, couldn't we? But instead I was forced to live with caring about you, but never allowed to go further than friends. I lived with my regrets because I still had my work and my independence. But you ruined all that too. By making me care so much about you! So in the end, I couldn't have you or anything else."

"No Bones, please," Booth whimpered, feeling his heart shattering within his chest, "I'll do anything to make it right."

And Booth jumped suddenly, awake once again as the sweat plastered his hair to his forehead and the tears rolled freely down his face. Booth firmly resolved that he would do anything to make it right.

* * *

Booth rose with the sun, deciding that perhaps a shower was in order to clear his rather fuzzy head. He found a towel from the closet and quietly closed the door shut again. Brennan heard the quiet click of the linen closet door shutting. Maybe she could make it to the toilet. It was just across the hall after all. 

She gently propped herself up onto her elbows and stared around her room. She could see the wheelchair right next to her bed. But how was one supposed to get across there with unmovable legs and an excruciatingly painful hip?

Brennan assessed the situation. In her mind, dragging herself to the edge of the bed and gently plopping into the seat was her best plan of action. She could call on Booth for help, but she decided she wanted to try things for herself. No need to bother him constantly if she could try it for herself.

She slid her elbow over slightly, before dragging her other elbow across to meet it, moving her upper body and budging her bottom half a fraction. This went on for several minutes as Booth remained oblivious in the shower.

He scrubbed fiercely at his hair, fearing his own thoughts and feelings. What if that dream was right? He blamed himself for Bones' injuries, but it would break him if she blamed him too. Suddenly ferocious at himself, Booth closed his eyes and landed a heavy blow on one of the tiles on the wall. The crack was sharp and loud, preventing Booth from hearing the loud thump that came from Brennan's bedroom.

Booth opened his eyes and gazed at the wall, as the water rained down on his weary head. He'd shattered the tile, cracked in several places. Then he saw red on the wall. He looked down at his hand, eyes narrowed in confusion. Crimson flowed easily between his fingers and from his knuckles, mingling with the shower water, tainting it pink. Booth was mesmerised. Maybe if he hurt himself a little, it would make up for all the pain he had caused. He shook his head to clear these thoughts. That was foolish and wouldn't help anyone.

He got out the shower and wrapped a towel round his waist. He took a closer look at his hand. It was pretty bad, as he had a gash on each knuckle. He stepped out into the wall and pulled a small towel from the closet. He wrapped it around his hand before walking down the hall.

It was about time to wake Bones up.

* * *

The loud thump that Booth had missed had been Brennan, attempting unsuccessfully to pull the wheelchair over a bit, and falling straight out the bed. Thankfully for her, she landed on her stomach, so no damage was done to the newly repaired hip, but her damaged ribs made her cry out in pain.

There was no way she was going to attempt to move now. She did not want to give herself any more time confined to being an invalid than was necessary. She heard her door click open and she shut her eyes in embarrassment and pain.

Booth's eyes scanned the room. "Bones?" he queried, searching for her.

Then he saw her lying on the floor and gave a startled, "Bones!" before rushing to her side. "Are you hurt?" he asked hurriedly, bending down to her side. "Your hip?"

"No Booth," she answered, wincing, "Just my ribs."

"Let's get you up then," he said softly, gently and slowly rolling her over onto her back, causing her to start with the pain. From there, he placed his hands under her arms and slowly hoisted her to her feet, although not allowing her to put any pressure on her legs. He couldn't even remotely attempt that, because her hip would hurt like hell and her legs would simply buckle underneath her.

He quickly slid her into her wheelchair and let her settle a moment. He came round the front and sat on the bed, opposite her. Then he began to scold her. "Bones what were you thinking? You could have seriously hurt yourself there! Why didn't you shout on me?" he said, annoyance stealing over him, scared for her safety.

She gave him a look of defiance before dropping her eyes and saying softly, "I still have my pride Booth."

Booth's dream rolled over him as he breathed out a pained sigh. She doesn't even have her work anymore. Leave her with her pride or do you want that too? But then again, having people do the basics in life for you pretty much ruined your pride too. He'd stolen everything from her.

Booth had dropped his head into his hands, unable to look at her. Brennan's eyes narrowed, trying to work him out. He looked pained to her. "Are you alright Booth?" she said, realising that something she said must have triggered this reaction.

Before he could answer though, her eyes caught sight of the bloodied towel which was freeing itself from his hand. "Booth, what happened?" she exclaimed, her blue eyes worried as she carefully unwrapped the towel from his hand.

"Had a bit of an accident in the shower," he mumbled, trying to cover the lie in his eyes.

"This was no accident Booth. You've burst all your knuckles. You're going to need stitches for them. What were you doing, punching walls?" she asked, incredulous, tenderly turning his hand round and round to inspect it.

Booth shied away from her gaze. Why must that woman know everything? Brennan caught on. "That is what happened isn't it? You hit something. Why?" she asked slowly, the caring feeling she had for her partner flooding her and suddenly everything else wrong with her life just faded away.

"I was feeling angry," he admitted, still not able to look at her.

"About what?" she asked, suddenly knowing when to push and when to relent with this.

"About…about your situation Bones," he said, trying to put it delicately, saving her the unnecessary reminder of her condition.

She touched a finger to his chin and made him look at her. "Booth, you have nothing to feel bad about."

"No?" he said, hopeful. Maybe she didn't blame him after all. If there was one thing he could hope for, this would be it, directly after the promise of her full recovery.

"No," she said, a tone of finality in her voice as relief flooded her partner. "That's going to need stitches," indicating his hand.

"It's fine," he said, shirking off her unnecessary worry. He was too busy rejoicing in that she hadn't lost complete faith in him. Her gaze moved from his face and lingered on his muscled torso. She rubbed her neck as a grimace crossed her face.

"Sore neck?" he quizzed, noticing where her gaze was held.

"Yeah," she replied as he jumped up from his seat. She tracked his every move as he came round to stand behind her.

He rubbed comforting circles in her neck before asking, "Any reason why you were staring at my chest Bones?"

Brennan took a moment to gather her courage and give the only possible explanation, "I'm only a woman Booth."

Booth made no reply to this, but simply slid his hands from her neck down to her shoulder blades, gently brushing them, almost in a loving manner. She shivered at the sensuality of his contact.

She hated to break the moment but the reason she had attempted to leave the bed was becoming overpowering. "Booth, can we go to the bathroom? Like now?" she asked, a sense of urgency in her voice.

"Yeah Bones sure," he said as he began to wheel her to the door.

"And maybe we can help your hand too," she said thoughtfully as they crossed the hall to the bathroom.


End file.
